How did we get here?
I feel like I don't know you anymore.
Everything I once knew
has changed.
I don't understand.
All of a sudden,
we're strangers.
Acquaintances.
How did we get here?
Who are you?
Where have you gone?
Why are you hiding?
We used to be so close.
Inseparable.
This distance
is unbearable.
I don't recognize you.
How did we get here?
Was it something I said?
Was it something I did?
Distant is what you've become.
You've pushed me away.
So far away...
That I don't think
there's anything
that can save us.
We've lost it all.
And I've taken a pretty big fall,
that I know I can't
get up from
on my own.
I need you.
How did we get here?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Honesty: Something We All Need to Improve On
It's not you, it's me. You deserve better. You're too good for me. I'm just not ready for a relationship. How many of us have heard any of these lines before? Probably everyone. Hell, I know I definitely have. I have heard every possible break up line you could imagine, I'm sure. It's ridiculous and stupid. I mean, "its not you, it's me," really?! Why do people use that as an excuse when breaking up with someone, when, the truth is, it is you! If there wasn't something wrong with you, they wouldn't be ending it, now would they? We've all been on both sides of that situation. If you were the dumper, you knew the reason you were dumping them was because there was something about the person you didn't like, and if you were the dumpee you were prrobably thinking "Yeah, right!" I guess, what I'm trying to say here, is why can't we all just be a little honest once in a while?
Honesty. What does that word mean exactly? According to dictionary.com (Who needs an actual dictionary these days?!), it means, "truthfullness, sincerity, frankness." Simple enough. At least, you would think most people could understand it. No? Well, let me put it a little simplier for those of you out there who still don't understand. Tell the TRUTH! Even if it will hurt someone's feelings. If people would just stop being so deceitful and quit lying to one another, we would all be better off. Maybe we would all be able to trust more easily. I just don't understand why we feel we have to cover up things. Why we have to make it so hard on ourselves. It's harder to cover up the truth than it is to just tell it.
For example, I was dating this guy - we'll call him, Douche. Yeah, that suits him well. He broke up with me OVER A TEXT MESSAGE, telling me that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship and that he needed to work on himself before we could be together. He reassured me that it was only a temporary thing. That he could definitely see a "future" with me. Did Douche and I ever get back together? You guessed it! No, we didn't. Instead of being honest and telling me that he was getting back with his ex, he lied, making it seem as if he did care about me and as if he did want to be with me. Which, in the end made it worse on me. If he would have been up front with me and told me, the first time, the truth, then I would have been so much better off. Don't get me wrong, I would have been very hurt and upset, but I would have gotten over it so much faster. Instead, I wait months for us to get back together. I was still talking to him, thinking everything was going to be okay, and I'm totally surprised when I find out (from someone else, by the way) that's he's with his ex-girlfriend, who he said he was totally over! That hurt like hell. This could have all been avoided, by being honest.
I'm always honest with people. If I'm not into someone or I don't like something someone said, I'm honest, and say something about it. I don't see the point in lying or avoiding things that need to be said that may or may not hurt someone's feelings. You may be thinking "Well, isn't that kind of mean? Just telling people whatever you want, even if it hurts them?" No, it's not mean. You don't have to do it in a mean or hateful way. Just because you're being honest, doesn't mean you're being a hateful person. I mean, I'm not a hateful person at all! If you've met me, you know that I'm one of the nicest people ever and I don't like to hurt people's feelings or, for that matter, even confront anyone about anything, but I know when it has to be done. And I, more than most, know what it feels like to be lied to. People have done it to me my entire life, and it's very painful, expecially when you find things out from other people.
Lying only makes matters worse. It makes it hard to trust anyone. It makes it hard to rely on anyone but yourself. It sometimes can even make you doubt yourself. It can make you feel like you're not good enough. It hurts your self-esteem and confidence and most importantly, it ruins future relationships. You can't help but to feel as if the people in your future will do the same thing these past people have done. That's why you've got to have hope. Hope that someone will eventually come along and prove you wrong. Prove to you that people can be good and can be trusted. I know it's hard to allow yourself to even open up to anyone when people haven't been honest with you. Ever. If people would just be honest, things wouldn't be like that. If people we're just honest and straighforward, you could avoid so much hurt and so much pain and you would actually be able to trust people.
I don't even see how anyone can't not be honest. You would think the guilt would eat you up inside. I know it would me. Just think about all these things you have to cover up and hide. You have to tell lie on top of lie, and you almost always end up getting caught, making things worse for yourself, as the liar, and the person you lied to. It just doesn't make any sense! It could have all been avoided! Ya know, a lot of people these days like to "take the easy way out," but isn't the easier way, just telling the truth the first go around? I think, yes.
So, next time you tell someone a little bit less than the truth, think about how you have felt when people haven't been honest with you. Think about how hurt you would be if you were on the other end. Don't lie. Be honest. Even if you have to be blunt about it. Trust me, if you do, you and the other person will come out better in the end.
-Lisa Marie<3
Honesty. What does that word mean exactly? According to dictionary.com (Who needs an actual dictionary these days?!), it means, "truthfullness, sincerity, frankness." Simple enough. At least, you would think most people could understand it. No? Well, let me put it a little simplier for those of you out there who still don't understand. Tell the TRUTH! Even if it will hurt someone's feelings. If people would just stop being so deceitful and quit lying to one another, we would all be better off. Maybe we would all be able to trust more easily. I just don't understand why we feel we have to cover up things. Why we have to make it so hard on ourselves. It's harder to cover up the truth than it is to just tell it.
For example, I was dating this guy - we'll call him, Douche. Yeah, that suits him well. He broke up with me OVER A TEXT MESSAGE, telling me that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship and that he needed to work on himself before we could be together. He reassured me that it was only a temporary thing. That he could definitely see a "future" with me. Did Douche and I ever get back together? You guessed it! No, we didn't. Instead of being honest and telling me that he was getting back with his ex, he lied, making it seem as if he did care about me and as if he did want to be with me. Which, in the end made it worse on me. If he would have been up front with me and told me, the first time, the truth, then I would have been so much better off. Don't get me wrong, I would have been very hurt and upset, but I would have gotten over it so much faster. Instead, I wait months for us to get back together. I was still talking to him, thinking everything was going to be okay, and I'm totally surprised when I find out (from someone else, by the way) that's he's with his ex-girlfriend, who he said he was totally over! That hurt like hell. This could have all been avoided, by being honest.
I'm always honest with people. If I'm not into someone or I don't like something someone said, I'm honest, and say something about it. I don't see the point in lying or avoiding things that need to be said that may or may not hurt someone's feelings. You may be thinking "Well, isn't that kind of mean? Just telling people whatever you want, even if it hurts them?" No, it's not mean. You don't have to do it in a mean or hateful way. Just because you're being honest, doesn't mean you're being a hateful person. I mean, I'm not a hateful person at all! If you've met me, you know that I'm one of the nicest people ever and I don't like to hurt people's feelings or, for that matter, even confront anyone about anything, but I know when it has to be done. And I, more than most, know what it feels like to be lied to. People have done it to me my entire life, and it's very painful, expecially when you find things out from other people.
Lying only makes matters worse. It makes it hard to trust anyone. It makes it hard to rely on anyone but yourself. It sometimes can even make you doubt yourself. It can make you feel like you're not good enough. It hurts your self-esteem and confidence and most importantly, it ruins future relationships. You can't help but to feel as if the people in your future will do the same thing these past people have done. That's why you've got to have hope. Hope that someone will eventually come along and prove you wrong. Prove to you that people can be good and can be trusted. I know it's hard to allow yourself to even open up to anyone when people haven't been honest with you. Ever. If people would just be honest, things wouldn't be like that. If people we're just honest and straighforward, you could avoid so much hurt and so much pain and you would actually be able to trust people.
I don't even see how anyone can't not be honest. You would think the guilt would eat you up inside. I know it would me. Just think about all these things you have to cover up and hide. You have to tell lie on top of lie, and you almost always end up getting caught, making things worse for yourself, as the liar, and the person you lied to. It just doesn't make any sense! It could have all been avoided! Ya know, a lot of people these days like to "take the easy way out," but isn't the easier way, just telling the truth the first go around? I think, yes.
So, next time you tell someone a little bit less than the truth, think about how you have felt when people haven't been honest with you. Think about how hurt you would be if you were on the other end. Don't lie. Be honest. Even if you have to be blunt about it. Trust me, if you do, you and the other person will come out better in the end.
-Lisa Marie<3
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Stop The Drama: A Short Rant
I absolutely CAN'T STAND IT when people try to start drama over facebook. Shit, I can't stand it when people try to start drama, period. You people need to seriously grow up and act your fucking ages. You're adults, not children, start acting like it! Do you really think that by posting stupid little pictures of someone's ex trashing them is going to make anything better? No, it's not. Think about how you would feel if someone did that shit to you. It's seriously hurtful for someone to see that. So, next time you want to go posting offensive pictures or statuses, think about how you would feel if it was directed towards you, and quit being a bitch. I mean, at least if you do have something to say, say it to that person's face. Don't be a pussy talking behind their back and all over the internet. It's not cool.
Okay, I'm done. :)
Okay, I'm done. :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Update
Okay, so it's been a while since I've posted anything so I decided I would give a little update. (Even though I know hardly anyone ever reads this damn thing, so it's like talking to a brick wall or an empty room.) I've been really busy, so I really haven't had any time to post anything. Although, I have written a few things. I just don't think they're all that good. I can't seem to write anything...happy. Everything I write is so cynical and dark. I'm kind of tired of writing that kind of stuff. I need some new inspiration! Which, I think sometime soon I might actually get that. :) Not going to jump the gun though. Anyway, like I was saying, busy. I've been busy. There's so much stuff going on in my life. (When is there not?) Most of it, I don't want to deal with. Of course, I can't really say here what all is going on. Mainly family stuff, as usual. I've been busting my ass trying to find a job, but I still haven't gotten anything. It's so frustrating, but I pray that I obtain one soon. I've got to save some money. My mom's birthday was this past Friday. She turned 37, but if you ask her, she'll say she turned 29. She's so crazy. We didn't really do much to celebrate it. Got some dinner and that's about it. It was fun though. I always love spending time with my mom. Then Saturday and Sunday, I felt like complete shit. I don't know what came over me, but I got really sick, and laid in bed all weekend, which sucked. Now it's Monday night (Tuesday morning) and I'm sitting here typing this to you. You're welcome. Damn, I need to get more people reading this. I kinda feel like a loser.
Also, I've really been thinking about getting my photography out there. Like starting my own business. A lot of people tell me I have a real talent for it. I feel as if I do too. I really enjoy it. I've just got to get some more experience so that people (customers) will have something to go off of as to whether or not they want me to photograph them. I seriously want to do it though. I need some better equipment. For starters, a new camera. Anyway, I've just been thinking hard about it lately, and it's something that I've seriously got my mind set on.
On another note, I've been having ridiculously horrible dreams, again. I don't know why it's so hard for me to have a good dream every once in a while! I mean the shit gets old. I've been having the same dream almost every night the past several days. I've been dreaming that my friend (best friend? I don't know what we are anymore) dies, and in every dream he dies a different way. Horrible, right? On top of that, I never get to tell him goodbye or that I love him. Even worse. I don't understand my subconscious mind. It's like it's only there to torture me. I actually woke myself up crying. How ridiculous is that? Anyway, enough about these dreams. They can suck it.
Question, is it pathetic if I cried during an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place? Be honest. If it is, then I guess I'm a pathetic little loser, because I definitely cried when I was watching it. It was so good though. This goes to show you how boring my life is. Seriously though, that show is awesome. If you don't watch it, you should. Just saying.
I know all I pretty much do in these little "updates" is ramble on about nothing, but what the hell? I don't have anything better to do, and if you're reading this, apparently you don't either. I will be posting something soon. I'm going to try and post something different, something happy, but if I can't write anything "happy" I'll just post something I've already written. I've just got to tweek one of those up a little bit. Well, I don't really have much else to say, so I guess I'm done with this. Feel free to comment this or anything I've written. :)
-Lisa Marie<3
Also, I've really been thinking about getting my photography out there. Like starting my own business. A lot of people tell me I have a real talent for it. I feel as if I do too. I really enjoy it. I've just got to get some more experience so that people (customers) will have something to go off of as to whether or not they want me to photograph them. I seriously want to do it though. I need some better equipment. For starters, a new camera. Anyway, I've just been thinking hard about it lately, and it's something that I've seriously got my mind set on.
On another note, I've been having ridiculously horrible dreams, again. I don't know why it's so hard for me to have a good dream every once in a while! I mean the shit gets old. I've been having the same dream almost every night the past several days. I've been dreaming that my friend (best friend? I don't know what we are anymore) dies, and in every dream he dies a different way. Horrible, right? On top of that, I never get to tell him goodbye or that I love him. Even worse. I don't understand my subconscious mind. It's like it's only there to torture me. I actually woke myself up crying. How ridiculous is that? Anyway, enough about these dreams. They can suck it.
Question, is it pathetic if I cried during an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place? Be honest. If it is, then I guess I'm a pathetic little loser, because I definitely cried when I was watching it. It was so good though. This goes to show you how boring my life is. Seriously though, that show is awesome. If you don't watch it, you should. Just saying.
I know all I pretty much do in these little "updates" is ramble on about nothing, but what the hell? I don't have anything better to do, and if you're reading this, apparently you don't either. I will be posting something soon. I'm going to try and post something different, something happy, but if I can't write anything "happy" I'll just post something I've already written. I've just got to tweek one of those up a little bit. Well, I don't really have much else to say, so I guess I'm done with this. Feel free to comment this or anything I've written. :)
-Lisa Marie<3
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Things To Accomplish in 2011
I decided I would make a list of all the things I really want to accomplish/do in 2011. I know I've got more to add to it, but this is what I've got so far. :) Oh - and I'll be checking them off the list as I accomplish each one. :)
-Find a job.
-Start school. (& don't give up this time around.)
-Make at least one new friend.
-Attend a Circa Survive concert.
-Attend Joey and Quay's graduation.
-Lose 25 pounds.
-Save up $$$ towards a Nikon D3100.
-Tell a certain person how I really feel.
-Attend at least one party.
-Get really really wasted at least once.
-Buy a cute bikini.
-Ride at least one roller coaster.
-Do karaoke.
-Grow my hair out.
-Excercise more.
-Road trip.
-Skinny dip.
-Dye my hair back blonde.
-Purchase a really cool bike.
-Remember how to ride that bike.
-Get another tattoo.
-Pierce my tongue again.
-Keep in touch with old friends.
-Learn piano. Or guitar. Or both.
-Wake up early.
-Go to sleep at a decent hour.
-Visit my granny. :)
-Travel to another state other than Florida or Georgia.
-Try a new food.
-Have really amazing sex.
-Find new places to go in Jacksonville.
-Go on a ghost tour.
-Call my brother more.
-Fly in a plane.
-Have the BEST 21st birthday, ever.
-Pay off some debt.
-Trust more easily.
-Find a job.
-Start school. (& don't give up this time around.)
-Make at least one new friend.
-Attend a Circa Survive concert.
-Attend Joey and Quay's graduation.
-Lose 25 pounds.
-Save up $$$ towards a Nikon D3100.
-Tell a certain person how I really feel.
-Attend at least one party.
-Get really really wasted at least once.
-Buy a cute bikini.
-Ride at least one roller coaster.
-Do karaoke.
-Grow my hair out.
-Excercise more.
-Road trip.
-Skinny dip.
-Dye my hair back blonde.
-Purchase a really cool bike.
-Remember how to ride that bike.
-Get another tattoo.
-Pierce my tongue again.
-Keep in touch with old friends.
-Learn piano. Or guitar. Or both.
-Wake up early.
-Go to sleep at a decent hour.
-Visit my granny. :)
-Travel to another state other than Florida or Georgia.
-Try a new food.
-Have really amazing sex.
-Find new places to go in Jacksonville.
-Go on a ghost tour.
-Call my brother more.
-Fly in a plane.
-Have the BEST 21st birthday, ever.
-Pay off some debt.
-Trust more easily.
Best Friend
Best friend,
Why have you,
disappeared from my life?
Don't you know,
that I need you?
Oh, best friend,
Don't you know,
that I miss you?
I sit here and wonder,
Do you miss me too?
Best friend,
What did I do,
to lose you?
Because you're no longer here.
All I can see,
is your slowly disappearing ghost.
Where have you gone?
Oh, best friend,
Don't you know,
that I love you?
I sit here and wonder,
Do you love me too?
Best friend.
Why have you,
disappeared from my life?
Don't you know,
that I need you?
Oh, best friend,
Don't you know,
that I miss you?
I sit here and wonder,
Do you miss me too?
Best friend,
What did I do,
to lose you?
Because you're no longer here.
All I can see,
is your slowly disappearing ghost.
Where have you gone?
Oh, best friend,
Don't you know,
that I love you?
I sit here and wonder,
Do you love me too?
Best friend.
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